


Tonight With Words Unspoken

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: 52 Weeks of Stories 2 [22]
Category: Hanson (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1960s, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boys In Love, Closeted Character, Fade to Black, Gay Male Character, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Coital Cuddling, Rings, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 04:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17501348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: Zac is leaving for war soon and Harry isn't in the least happy about it. Can they make up before he leaves?





	Tonight With Words Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Strip

"You're stupid," Harry spat out as he looked at Zac with a shake of his head. "Signing up to willingly go to war," he said as he narrowed his gaze.

Zac swearing he had never seen such a glare from his best friend before. 

"You could get killed in Vietnam," Harry continued with his rant. A rant that Zac was allowing him to have. "Look what happened to Isaac," he spoke mentioning Zac's oldest brother. A brother who had already signed up and who had been taken before him.

A brother who had came back but not in the way they had wanted him too.

"I know what happened to Isaac," Zac told him as he stayed seated on his bed. Watching as Harry who had been pacing finally stopped and looked down at Zac. "I still vividly remember my mother screaming that whole night after we got the news," he frowned as he thought of his mother.

A woman who had lost one son and who could very well lose another in him. But he didn't want to think about himself dying.

"But I'd rather go into this war with dignity," Zac spoke knowing he wanted to have honor on his name. It wasn't like Taylor was off bringing that to the family.

Not since he'd been off joining the hippies and anti-war protests.

When Harry fell silent at his words Zac motioned for him to come closer and he obeyed him. Only stopping when he was close enough for Zac to reach out and pull down onto his lap. Zac reaching out to brush some of the hair off of Harry's shoulders.

"Did you really expect me to stay here?" Zac asked though he knew the answer to that. He was almost positive he knew the answer to it.

Of course Harry had expected him to stay. Expected him to become all about peace and joining the protests too.

Not that Zac would ever judge Harry, not like he judged Taylor anyway. He wasn't in love with his own brother, not that he should even be in love with Harry either. It was wrong and he was reminded of that all the time at church and even by his own family.

His father instantly disowning Taylor after Taylor had came out as gay. Another reason Taylor was bringing shame on the family and Zac was sure if they knew about him they'd think the same thing but Zac was good at hiding. It came easier since he lived on his own.

Lived in an apartment next door to Harry's The convenient set up making it easier for them to be together whenever they wanted to be without anyone knowing or becoming suspicious.

"No," Harry answered but Zac knew his words were a lie with the way Harry refused to look at him. "I knew you'd leave me to go to war," he sighed as he let his head go to rest inside Zac's neck like he was hiding from him. "I just had hoped you'd stay with me. That we could..."

"That we could fight for peace together?" Zac asked and Harry's silence after that told him everything. "You know we couldn't. It's wrong and we could wind up in jail if anyone knew," he told him with a shake of his head. "We can't ever be together publicly not like that and especially not fighting for peace," he muttered out knowing he was probably being harsh.

But as much as he loved Harry, Harry had to know that they could never be a couple. Not like straight people were. They'd always have to hide and one day they'd probably have to end this charade altogether and play pretend.

Raise families and pretend to love their wives.

"I know that," Harry spoke sadly as he lifted his head then and Zac hated the sight of unshed tears in Harry's eyes. "But is it so wrong to hope?" he asked as he leaned in to leave a chaste kiss on Zac's lips. "Is it wrong to wish you could be mine and be willing to fight for the same things I am which isn't just peace but for people to accept gay people as well," he spoke softly and Zac wished he could do that.

But he wasn't willing to lose his family. He wasn't willing to be like Taylor and be stripped of everything he loved just because he was different.

He'd just deny the parts of himself that were different. He'd do what Taylor should do and what Harry should do. Though of course he'd never tell Harry that out loud. Not like he'd tell it to Taylor because he thought Taylor was being selfish.

"No," Zac finally spoke with a shake of his head watching as the pained look on Harry's face dissipated some. "It's never wrong to hope just as long as you know how things will turn out in the end."

Harry rolled his eyes at that, his forehead resting against Zac's, "Of course I know how things turn out," he muttered not even hiding the growl to his voice. "You marry Brenda and I marry Peggy Sue her best friend and we both became loving husbands and fathers who occasionally enjoy a weekend away from our lovely wives," he whispered softly as he let his hips move down into Zac's then.

Zac letting his eyes fall shut at how good it felt to have Harry thrusting into him. Even if he knew Harry was only doing this to prove a point. That he was better than Brenda Jones, the lovely sweet preachers daughter that Zac sometimes went on dates with so no one suspected he was gay.

Harry and Peggy Sue sometimes joining them on double dates but Harry always hated it so Zac tried to limit those. Just like he tried to limit one on one dates with Brenda because Harry hated those even more than the double dates.

"Why did you wait to tell me until the day before you leave?" Harry chose to ask in Zac's weak moment. His hips moving down into Zac's again. Causing a moan to leave his lips. "I deserved to know before now."

"Because I knew how you'd react," Zac answered as he opened his eyes to look at Harry again. "I knew we'd disagree and then this conversation would turn into this. Us talking about a future we can't have regardless of my survival in Vietnam," he sighed wishing he could change things. "It wasn't a conversation I wanted to have for days or weeks."

"So you saved it all for tonight."

"I saved it all for tonight," Zac confirmed with a nod of his head and before Harry could say more Zac closed the tiny gap between them. His lips slotting against Harry's in a kiss that wasn't chaste.

It was far from chaste and full of things that neither knew how to say with their words. Things they could only say with their bodies which would have to be enough for now.

May have to be enough forever if it was their last night together.

Kissing Harry a bit harder Zac complied when Harry pushed him down onto the bed. Their hips moving into each others again and as Zac let out a moan Harry pulled away from him. Looking down at him with emotions that Zac had never seen from him before.

"Can I...I want to make love to you," Harry spoke and Zac felt his cock twitch in his pants, coming to life more than it already was.

"You can do whatever you want Harry," Zac told him as he let his hand move up to brush some hair out of Harry's face. "I'm all yours right now," he whispered his words dying out as Harry leaned down to kiss him on the lips.

His eyes falling shut as Harry began to undo his button down shirt, clearly in a hurry to strip him. 

But while Harry was in a hurry Zac's brain was wanting to remember everything that he and Harry did tonight in case it was the last night they had together. In case he didn't come home alive.

He needed something to think about in his dying moments and what better than the boy he'd loved since he was sixteen.

Opening his eyes once his shirt was gone, Zac pulled away from the kiss long enough to take Harry's shirt off him as well. His body moving so that he could flip them over so he was on top of Harry. Loving the moan he got from Harry as their hips once again collided.

Harry's matching erection rubbing into his even with all their clothes on.

"I love you," Zac whispered on Harry's skin as he let his lips go to kiss at the skin on the other boys neck. "I love you so much," he sighed as his hands went down to work on Harry's pants. His lips staying on Harry's neck.

Kissing and sucking at the skin enough that he knew the other boy would be wearing his mark for days and maybe Zac wanted that. Wanted to leave a mark on Harry for when he was gone so that Harry could remember him a bit longer. 

At least until he didn't which the thought was enough to make Zac sad because it was a reminder that he was leaving and he couldn't properly leave anything for Harry to remember him by. They couldn't get engaged and he couldn't get Harry pregnant and really in the end all they had were words and actions.

Zac not sure if that would be enough because he'd already heard of women who had been left at home cheating or leaving their husbands.

Then again Harry wasn't his husband or his boyfriend. They had never made commitments to each other and maybe they shouldn't start now either. Not when Zac could die on Harry.

But god the idea of claiming Harry before he left was almost thrilling.

***

"Why are you giving me this?" Harry asked as he laid against Zac later that night, the both of them wrapped up in blankets and each other still. Zac smiling at the way Harry was looking down at the class ring of Zac's that he now wore on his pinkie.

"Because I want you to have something to remember me by when I'm gone," Zac told him as he left a small kiss on Harry's forehead. "I can't marry you or give you a baby but I can give you that," he said as he chewed on his lip wondering if he had misread Harry.

Maybe despite everything Harry wanted, he wasn't that committed to Zac. Maybe he was just wishing to be out and open in general and he just said it was Zac he wanted it with in case Zac wanted it too.

"It's sweet," Harry smiled as he looked up at Zac with a warm look of affection and okay maybe Zac hadn't ever misread him. "I love it," he whispered as if anyone could hear him. As if people could hear them and know they were doing things two men shouldn't.

"Just the ring?" Zac asked teasingly as he leaned in to peck Harry's lips. "You just love the ring?"

Laughing Harry shook his head, "No," he muttered as his cheeks turned pink. "I love you too," he spoke softly. "Going to miss you so much when you leave me later today but at least now I have this," he spoke as he held his hand up proudly like one of the many girls Zac saw who showed off their engagement rings.

The image another one that Zac wanted to hold onto for as long as he could. Again in case he died as well as something to look forward too. Something to remind him that he had to live and come back.

Harry was here and Harry needed him even if he knew once he was home that Harry could never be his happy ending. Though god he wished this were a different time or a different life. Maybe then Harry could be his happy ending.

"I love you too Harry," Zac spoke as he kissed Harry again. "So much, always remember that," he whispered as well.

Though his whisper was more him being scared. Being scared that he could die but even that thought wasn't enough to change Zac's mind. He still wanted to go and serve his country.


End file.
